Seriously – rain; I forgot what it appeared as if. I woke up in early stages Saturday, loaded all my gear and going for our fitness expo at Life Time Fitness. We were launching our cycle golf club and from the looks outside I just knew it was going to be a gradual day at the fitness center b/c of the rainfall. Since we haven’t got RAIN in what seems like YEARS, Saturday I just knew everyone was heading to take advantage and also have a lazy rainy. I stayed at the fitness center until around 12:30 and then headed home. We called out the A/C company, I stayed home while Bill went and picked up his Dad from a healthcare facility. In short, we need a new outside unit. They are changing it today at 12. Hallelujah! We’ve remained at the house that was formerly on the marketplace the last two evenings.
I experienced myself sliding in the summer of 2012. It experienced as if I used to be gradually turning back into 505 pound Sean. I needed successfully maintained for a year . 5 since hitting 230 pounds in November 2010. Something had changed. I lost my grasp. It started affecting me in the most depressive ways. Suddenly what seemed easy was the hardest thing to do and where I had developed become sticky-confident, I had been shown I wasn’t so invincible after-all.
- 30/30 Bear Crawls (replacement Crab Crawls on second circuit) Run 5 minutes
- Investor Relations
- Improve cardiovascular fitness and reduce the risk of heart disease
- Finnish spitz
- 3 Leeks, light green & white parts only, diced
I was dropping fast. A sufferer of my very own pride and perspective. I sat across from my therapist two days before the event. I had fashioned gained back just a little over twenty pounds. Seems crazy now when I think about how broken up I was over that twenty pounds. It wasn’t necessarily the twenty pounds, it was sense like all of what I had inside was gone and I couldn’t get it back. I informed my therapist I couldn’t stand before any audience and I would cancel my appearance at the event. The counsel she offered me that day shot right to the center of who I was and what I was about.
I was struggling and humans struggle and I had a need to exhibit this, not hide from it or pretend it didn’t exist. She suggested just enough spark for me to ignite sufficient confidence to do the job I was hired to do. I still left her office determined to speak at the function two times later. The function arrived therefore did I, but only after an intensive self-talk confidence boosting session in the mirror. Even easily wasn’t fully convinced, I needed to make it through this event somehow.
And it wasn’t one program, it was two classes. I was planned to provide the same talk twice in the same day with one being web-streamed live throughout the business. As as I hit the stage soon, I sensed a burst of energy–like my self-confidence got came back. I spoke with passion, straight from the heart and afterward the question and answer session confirmed could felt. I had developed made a robust connection with my audience.
There was something about her that made an impact on me. I cannot explain it. All I know is, that day something was different about her from all others I met. It wasn’t a long time before Heather Cates and I started exchanging messages via Facebook. Even though charged power of the speaking event sparked something in me to turn things around, it only lasted a couple of days before I experienced drawn in to the spiral back. Several days after that first evening, I informed her via Facebook message “it’s not a good time for me,” and that was that. I still didn’t forget her, I couldn’t.
I experienced like I used to be missing something very special. But I had developed to miss it because I didn’t feel worth anything good at all. When she started seeing someone else afterwards, she didn’t know it–but I sensed an authentic sense of loss. By that right time I used to be well on my way to a 164 pound regain.